bananas – the only fruit that needs protection

Posted on July 28, 2009 by jordenf

I was going to write about the pros and cons of the new Harmonized Sales Tax in British Columbia and how the short term pain of it will eventually turn into… zzzzzzzzzzzzz… Oh sorry, I must have nodded off there for a moment. As much as HST is a big deal in the news right now, along with the fires in the interior, and that whale that got smoked by the cruise ship, there are more important issues out there… like how to keep your banana from getting bruised.

I know you have seen these banana guards before and I’m talking about old news but c’mon, how can you not write about a piece of plastic that protects possibly the lamest fruit known to man. The banana is like the kid at school that walks like he has a pole (or banana I guess) up his bum, it’s the kid who is awesome at calculus but awful in gym, the banana sits in the basement and plays Dungeons & Dragons while all the other fruits are out partying and trying to hook up with the vegetables. It is the fruit that all the other fruits beat up… which is obviously why it needs this protection device.

so they sleep together?

Who really likes banana’s anyways? They are not a cool looking fruit to eat and they don’t taste that great either. They really suck for a number of reasons:

1. You feel awkward when you peel it.

2. They are not thirst quenching like other fruits.

3. You look awkward when you eat it.

4. Sometimes they dress up in pajamas, which can be a bit frightening.

5. The peal is freakishly long and hard to get rid of.

6. The guard that the banana is protected in looks like a… well you know.

Now I guess the banana told the people that created the Banana Guard that a couple of his nerdy buddies were also having trouble on the fruit basket playground so the folks at Banana Guard have also created the all new Froot Case and Froot Guard to protect other wimpy fruits like the kiwi & tangelo. This way the apples, oranges and grapefruits of the world cant lay the beat down on the geeky fruits while they are in your lunch bag.

In conclusion, bananas are a good source of Vitamin C, potassium, and dietary fibre… they look strange, feel weird in your hand while you eat them, need an extra investment to protect them from juice boxes and sandwich containers, and look neat in hats. Eat at your own risk.

Cheers!

jordenf