jordenf v2.0

Okay now I’ve been a bit busy in the evenings and haven’t been writing the last couple of days… plus the new Black Crowes album came out and that has really taken up a lot of my time.  But a couple friends of mine sent me an email about this product and I’ve been wanting to write about it for a few days.

As I’ve stated before and is written in my ‘About JordenF‘ page I can’t stand picking up dog poo.  As gross as this sounds if I’m walking a dog and it poops on your lawn and you yell at me to pick it up, I’ll try to, but you’ll just end up having to pick it up yourself along with whatever I had for lunch which will be lying right beside it.  But soon this may not be a worry of mine at all as the lamest invention of all time has been released, the PooTrap.

This contraption is kind of like the poo bags that horses wear, you strap this harness type thing which has a bag attached to the back end of it onto your dog.  The bag situates itself underneath your dog’s tail and kind of suctions itself onto your dog’s… well for lack of a better term… ahhh forget it, you know what I mean.  So when your dog has to do it’s business the bag just catches it (as if pooping in public wasn’t embarrassing enough).  Then you remove the bag and toss it… along with any shred of dignity you or your dog had left.

Now I’m hoping that people are only buying these as gag gifts because you can’t honestly tell me that you are going to put a garbage bag on your dog and walk it in public.  I would rather take the heat for leaving the poo on the ground then take all the disappointed looks you are going to receive because your dog has an over-sized condom strapped to its ass.  They are $30-$40 depending on the size of your dog and they come in 3 different colours so your dog can be ashamed in blue, red, and black.

You have to take a look at their website because it is quite funny, they even have a gallery section so you can look at lots of different pictures of dogs pooping into a bag… that’s pretty messed up.  They have a FAQ section as well that answers all your concerns about how your dog might react to using the PooTrap for the first time, these are absolutely priceless and I’ve attached some of my favourites below (these are unedited and apparently the PooTrap people need to take some lessons in English):

My dog will not like it for sure?

Actually, dogs don’t like many things such as “they don’t like shower”, “they don’t like to stay home alone”, “they don’t like to eat dog cookies”, however, when they are used to all these things, they will be excited about it.

Why my dog seem not able to get used to “PooTrap”?

In many ways dog is like human being! It’s like when first time people use camera to take photos, for sure it seems weird but nowadays many people around the world are using cameras for taking photos.

Dog feel not respected when wearing “PooTrap”?

Babies wear diapers and they are truly loved by their parents, hence same applied to the dogs owners who use our “PooTrap” actually truly love their dogs.

I would rather like to pick up poop by myself?

People invented many useful technologies to make people’s life easier. All these inventions (car is among one of them) are to make people’s life more convenient. With our “PooTrap”, no need to worry that dogs will cause environment pollution, and as dogs owners may know, actually it’s difficult to pick up poop.

Their slogan is PooTrap – No Poops, No Oops… it really should be PooTrap – if you need this product you shouldn’t own a dog.  Although I guess if you do own a dog and buy a PooTrap you probably wont have it for long anyways because it will either: A. Runaway and find an owner who isn’t a dick… or B. Jump out of a ten story building because it can’t handle all the other dogs poking fun of it.

In conclusion it’s bad enough owning a Shitzu but a Shitzu with a PooTrap!?  Mark your social calender down as free for the next 16 years because no one is going to be hanging out with you.  You may as well be the smelly kid that eats paste…  And let’s forget about you for a second, what about your poor dog!?  You think that dog likes having a leash and a poo harness attached to it at all times?  How would you feel if someone attached a garbage bag to a pair of suspenders and made you where it around in public?  Yeah that’s what I thought.

Cheers!

jordenf