jordenf v2.0

There is not much I dislike more than being in an elevator.  A. I’m always afraid it’s going to break like in Speed, and B. I hate the awkward conversations that always occur in them.

I’m normally a pretty good conversationalist but get me in an elevator and look out!  But luckily I’m not the only one… I have really yet to meet someone in an elevator who is good with ‘elevator chat’.  Yesterday I stepped into the elevator and there was a lady with a dog.  I went to press the button for the 2nd floor and as I motioned over she asked what floor I wanted but it was too late as my arm was already halfway to the button, but I didn’t want to blow her off so I said “oh… 2nd please” and I guess she felt like since she asked she should probably press the button as well.  But of course I was already there and she went for it anyways and our hands touched… not a good start.

But she had a dog so I thought ‘oh Jorden you can save this’ and I said to her “What’s your dog’s name?” as I motioned to pet him.  “Sherman” she said back.  I saw a great opportunity for a story that might open the conversation up and mentioned to her that I used to live beside a dog who’s name was also Sherman… but then catching myself I said “well I actually lived next to his owners, but yeah he was a great dog”… wow great save idiot… she looked at me and politely said “it’s not a very common name for a dog” and I replied “yeah I know… I only know two now, your’s and my old neighbours”.  Thankfully the doors open and I said “cool, see you later” and she smiled and said “have a good…” but then the door shut and cut off whatever else she had to say… this all happened from the underground to the main floor… that’s one stop.  Imagine if she had lived on the 20th floor.

Small chat is the toughest thing especially when you have such a short time to do it in… like in an elevator.  You don’t want to seem rude by not saying anything and pretending to text on your phone, but at the same time you don’t want to talk about the weather the whole time either.  So I’ve created a list of some jumping off points to make an elevator chat easier:

1. Those look like comfortable shoes… big, but comfortable!  Where did you get them?
2. Did you see Kayne West interrupt Taylor Swift?  What a dick!  I like his music though… what about you?
3. Hey did you hear that runner from South Africa has both ‘bits’… crazy eh!?  What do you think that would be like?
4. I really like kids… a lot… do you have any?  Maybe we could set up a play date?
5. So are you worried about swine flu too?  Yeah it will probably get at least one of us eh?  Sure hope it’s not me.
6. You look like you enjoy ice-cream, did you know that it’s my favourite food?  What’s yours?
7. Seen any good websites lately?
8. Do you blog?  Cause I do… what are you into?  Because I could write about it and then email you the link.

So now you can’t say I only teach you about sex toys and poo trapping devices for dogs… because this elevator stuff is useful.  But if you are still super nervous about talking to people in the elevator I recommend turning around and facing the corner when someone steps in.  If you continue to just bury your head in that corner no one will ever talk to you.  If you are as intrigued about elevators as I clearly am there is a site called Awkward Elevator that has a short documentary video on the awkwardness of elevators.

Cheers!

jordenf

Filed under: day in the life | Tagged: awkward elevator, elevator, elevator chat