His first card, the Cardapult, is a business card that transforms into a catapult so you can nail Nancy (and not in the good way) who is always bragging about the Johnson Account by the water cooler.

Bell’s new prototype is the not as creatively named Penny Shooter, which could definitely take out a rodent on the loose in the warehouse or probably a small toddler that your secretary thought would be okay to bring in with her because she is only working a quick afternoon shift.  Put THAT on your extended employee health benefits plan!

You can get the cards printed with your business name, email, phone number and all that jazz but I think they are probably more designed as a promotional item giveaway and not a card you would hand over to the CEO of a multimillion dollar company that you are bidding on a contract for.  Still pretty cool though!

Cheers,

jordenf

You can check out both the Cardapult and Penny Shooter on my Flickr Feed.

Duck Hunter Extreme is a real life (well as close as you can get to real without killing an actual animal) duck hunting game where one person flies the duck via remote control and the other person tries to shoot it down.

It does lose a little something without the blood-hound running into the grass to pick up your collection of ducks… I also wonder how long the remote ducks will last after getting capped and crashing a bunch of times.  Still looks sweet though.  You can only get the game through a 3rd party like Amazon.com who have it for $55US if you are looking for a post-Christmas present for yourself.

Cheers!

jordenf

I’m pretty sure these are meant for kids and you might look like a bit of a tool by using chopsticks that are glued together at the top, but at least all the boys between the ages of 4-11 will think your cool.  They come in all different kinds including T-Rex, Stegosaurus, Velociraptor, and my personal favourite the Brontosaurus ( I guess the folks at Dino Sticks don’t read my blog so they don’t realize that the Brontosaurus isn’t really a dinosaur).

I do like that the packaging states it “makes finger food more tasty”.  Yes cause nothing makes finger food more tasty than a little Bisphenol A leaching into your fish sticks from your plastic dinosaur shaped chopsticks.

I’m not going to lie these things are pretty bad-ass and as a lover of dinosaurs for only $2 I might be tempted to buy a set.

Cheers!

jordenf

But even my crappy Brontosaurus would look awesome when made into a customized stuffed animal, which is exactly what the company Shidonni does!

The concept is simple but a very innovative way to turn your kid’s (or your own) creativity into something tangible.  Basically you go to Shidonni’s website where your son or daughter (or yourself) scribbles down their laughable creation. You throw down your Visa, click submit, and then children in the sweatshop at Shidonni sew together an exact replica of your drawing but stuffed animal size. All for $85US.

This is a pretty sweet idea and I might even give it a try with my patented Brontosaurus drawing.

Cheers!

jordenf

Hey, I get that your dog may have a humping problem and keeps using your couch pillows.  I even understand that it’s probably not appropriate for little Fredrico (my imaginary dog name) to run out and start jack-rabbiting on Grandma’s leg when she comes to visit.  But let me ask you this, when you have a cocktail party how are you going to explain the modern looking dog sculpture in the corner of the living room?  “Oh that’s just for Mr. Bojangles to get his rocks off on… we encourage everyone in the family to explore their sexuality… although I have had to tell the toddler to get his finger out of there every once in a while.”

Below are a few specs on the Hot Doll from their website:

• Stability, strength, ergonomics, Hot Doll is specially designed for the utmost comfort of your pet.
• The legs “no slide system” are designed for extreme grip.
• The “cone” is made from silicone, the same materials used by veterinarians. It can resist to temperatures from -40°C (-40°F) to +200°C (+392°F) and offers excellent UV resistance.
• Fast, Easy and Hygienic, use cleaning products suitable for plastic and silicone such as water and soap.

First, I’m super glad to see the legs have extreme grip so the dog won’t hump the thing across the linoleum floor while you are enjoying your cream of mushroom soup for dinner.  Secondly, I don’t even want to know what the “cone” is although I do have a pretty good idea.  Third off, the fact that it can resist temperatures up to 200°C is a nice feature but I’m pretty sure your dog wont be having sex with this thing on the face of the sun… although the UV resistance is a nice feature just in case you are done making your house-guests feel uncomfortable around the Christmas tree and would rather your neighbour’s kids have a gander at Fido getting freaky in the backyard.  And finally, “Fast, Easy and Hygienic, use cleaning products suitable for”… let me stop you right there, cleaning out a fake dog’s bum-hole of whatever substances your real dog put in there is never suitable or acceptable!  Never!

Well if your kids aren’t screwed up enough for your liking go out and get your family dog the Hot Doll this Christmas.  Because nothing seems more socially acceptable than allowing your dog to nail a sex toy in the middle of your living room.

Cheers!

jordenf

This 24 gauge, brushed stainless steel clip on tie is great if a hoedown breaks out in the middle of the street and you need to find an instrument quickly so you can join the fun.  With this playable necktie you  now only need a couple more buddies to play the jug, spoons, and kazoo!  Unless of course you are legendary YouTube bad-ass Lew Dite, who doesn’t need any friends because he can play the Washboard Tie, kazoo, and guitar at the same time!

Now that guy must get waaaaay more chicks than those geeks who play the guitar t-shirt.

The Washboard Tie comes with two steel thimbles to rock out with and is the ultimate conversation piece and party starter… although I still don’t think it looks as cool as the Piano Tie or the supremely geeky 8-Bit Tie, but as far as functionality goes you can’t beat it!  You should definitely run out to your local hillbilly necktie shop and pick one of these bad-boys up.  Who knows, maybe it could lead to a gig with the Washboard Wizardz.

Cheers!

jordenf

Well my cousin sent me a message today about an all-in-one phone that blows the Berry and iPhone out of the mobile water.  It’s called the Pomegranate.  Not only does this phone look super slick but has some incredible features as well including:

• Projector
• Global Voice Translator
• Coffee Maker
• Shaver
• Harmonica

Wait… a freakin’ harmonic and a coffee machine!!???  You have got to be kidding me!  I encourage you to watch the full 6 minute video below or at least visit their website to experience everything you can do with this bad boy.  Of course you can phone, text, surf and do all that regular boring stuff too… but you can do it all while shaving!!!!

So upon clicking through the site trying to figure out how much one of these things was going to cost me I learned that they were created in Nova Scotia, Canada.  I thought to myself ‘Cool, I’m glad another Canadian mobile phone company has stepped up to the plate to compete with BlackBerry juggernaut Research In Motion‘… Nothing like a little friendly competition right?

So when I tried to click a few links to find out more information I kept getting sent to the Discover Nova Scotia tourism website.  I thought ‘Hmmm something isn’t right here.’  Upon further research I then came to the conclusion that this phone is actually is not a phone at all.  It’s a complete fake and is all part of a new viral marketing campaign by the Government of Nova Scotia to attract more tourists.

That’s a pretty slick idea as it got me clicking around the site… but I have to tell you I’m more pissed off at Nova Scotia for tricking me into thinking I was getting a phone that I could play the harmonica on.  So congrats Eastern Canada… you have now been relegated to the END of my “places to see before I die” list.

Cheers!

jordenf

I have good news my loyal readers… I have found that party saver.  The Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt!

Not only does this shirt look awesome but it actually plays like a proper guitar as it includes all the major chords (which are pre-recorded by a real electric guitar).   It also comes with a mini-amplifier that turns up to 11 so you can bust out a proper jam session like the nerds in the video below:

How could these guys NOT be fighting off chicks left right and centre with those chops!  Also did you notice the gentleman rocking out on his Drum Kit Shirt in the background?  Oh yes, the folks over at ThinkGeek decided that an Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt wasn’t enough and wanted to create The White Stripes of t-shirt bands so the also created the Electronic Drum Kit Shirt, which plays 7 different drum sounds!  So now you can play The Hardest Button to Button on the back of the bus and make all sorts of new fans and groupies.

Now the real kicker here is that these shirts are only $30US!  Beats paying $176 for a shirt from Christian Audigier that makes you look like a douche and does nothing but rests on your shoulders and covers your chest and stomach with an ugly-ass skull that says Heart Breaker underneath it.

So now you really only need an electric bass guitar shirt (those bassists always get left out) and maybe throw in a playable piano tie as well and you could be picking up tonnes of babes on the beach or underneath a tree or wherever super sensitive musicians and poets hang out.

Rock On!

jordenf

Find more pictures of these two shirts on my Flickr Feed or if you would like to read a related post you can always check out mine on The Art of the Air Instrument!

This watch pairs wirelessly via BlueTooth with your BlackBerry device and acts as a preview screen of sorts when your BlackBerry receives a text message, email or phone-call.  At first I thought you were going to be able to talk into the thing and make phone calls on it but sadly it is a display only device, so basically if you are in a boring meeting instead of offending everyone by checking messages on your BlackBerry you can now offend them by looking at your watch every ten minutes.

The Smartwatch has a vibration setting so when a message or call comes in your wrist will vibrate violently and uncontrollably so I recommend carrying your extra hot latte in the other hand.  The InPulse is fully customizable and along with giving you weather updates, Twitter updates, and RSS news feed updates it also tells freakin’ time too!  Here are some other specs on the watch from the InPulse website:

• 1.3″ full colour organic light-emitting-diode (OLED) display
• Bluetooth® v2.0+EDR
• 150 mAh lithium-ion polymer battery
• Glass lens and full metal body
• 22mm interchangeable wrist band
• Vibrating motor
• Micro-USB port (for charging)
• Over-the-air firmware updates
• Dimensions: 51mm height x 38mm width x 12mm depth

Now as much as I love watches and my BlackBerry I will probably not be purchasing one of these things as the $150 price tag is a bit too steep for me.  Plus I catch enough flak from my friends and wife for being as “connected” as I already am and having a nerd watch might just add some fuel to the fire.  But if you would like one you can pre-order now and they will be ready for shipment in February.

Cheers!

jordenf

I mean what better way to boost your bedroom skills than purchasing a little dumbbell that fits on your bits.  I do like the fancy faux snake-skin case it comes in but I do have a few questions on how to operate it:

1. How heavy is it?  I don’t want to put it on there, find that it’s too heavy and hurt myself… can you imagine explaining that to the nurse in the ER?
2. It say’s one size fits all, yet it comes in a small compact case… is this just a product to make me feel better about myself?
3. If it is a true dumbbell it will be made out of metal, which get’s cold quite easily, I see a design flaw here because as every male knows putting something cold on your man muscle won’t help that dumbbell stay on there.
4. Once I have the dumbbell on there what exercises am I supposed to do?  Do I do squats, or do I thrust back and forth, or do I just put my hands on my hips and flex my thighs?

The other thing that concerns me about this product is their return policy:

We offer a 28 Day Money Back Guarantee.  If for any reason you are not completely delighted with your purchase you may return it within 28 days for a full refund or exchange (excluding P & P).

So if I try it out a few times and I find that I’m still the Mazda Miata of the bedroom (small, fast, and kind of feminine), I can send this thing back and they will just repackage it and send it out to another guy?  So how do I know that I’m not the guy who is getting a slightly used boner barbell?

The Love Muscle Toner is about $14CAD, but can you really put a price on how awesome you are going to look when you bring a girl back from the bar and she asks “what’s in the box on your bedside table?”

Cheers!

jordenf